It's my first day off this rotation. I'm tired, sleepy, but also happy. We've reached the point of school where it's starting to feel all so very real - like holy hell I'm going to be doing this for the rest of my life.
I am almost there.
One of the final hurdles is applying to residency. It's probably what I've been scared of the most. More than the start of rotations and the exams. More than getting to graduation. It probably has to do with my uneasiness towards the unknown, in anything in life. I'm the woman who hates not knowing where we will end up for dinner even if it's just a chill night with friends. The lady who gets anxious waking up without a plan for the day. But that's what this process is - absolutely, completely uncharted territory for me.
For those who aren't in medicine, I'll explain quickly how "The Match" works - we apply to residencies much like seniors do for college. There's the initial screening and if you make the cut, you get asked to come and interview with the program. Then there's the part that is a little different - after all the interviews, you make a list of your most wanted programs. And the programs make lists of all the interviewees. It all gets mashed up through some algorithm and boom, you've matched. Might be your number one place, might be your third. Might be your last.
As a woman who usually loves control and order, this whole year is proving to be challenging at times. Sometimes I worry about succumbing my twenty years of education to a little algorithm. But I'm also realizing that there's no point in hyper-focusing towards "The Match". It's time to stop looking at the finish line and only at the finish line. I want to turn my head in every direction and take it all in. Enjoy every day at work, embrace every day I have off. Spend time with some of the most inspiring and thoughtful people I've ever met. And constantly remind myself to appreciate it all. I'm digging this new mindset.
It has made life all the more beautiful.
I essentially wanted more carrot cake but I made it into a loaf this time because lately I'm obsessed with the crumb structure that a loaf cake brings and with the look of the brown rim of crust around a fluffy square of cake - I chalk it up to my amazing banana sesame loaf experience at El Rey. Since it's summer and summer screams lightness, I added a ton of lemon zest into the cake itself and a couple of squeezes of the good fruit into the glaze, so you get a little bit of zip with the brown sugar sweetness of the loaf. It's moist, it's shareable, and it's good.
Lemony carrot loaf cake
Ingredients, makes 2 loaf cakes
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 2 teaspoons ground ginger
- 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
- 2 1/4 cups all purpose flour
- 2 teaspoons baking soda
- 1 1/2 cups canola oil
- 1 3/4 cups brown sugar
- 4 eggs
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- Zest of 2 lemons
- 6-7 medium carrots, shredded
- Turbinado sugar, for sprinkling on top
Optional lemon glaze
- Juice of 1 lemon
- Powdered sugar
- Vanilla extract
- Preheat oven to 350 F. Line 2 loaf pans with parchment paper and spray with cooking spray or butter and flour the pans.
- In a medium bowl, whisk the flour, salt, ginger, nutmeg, and baking soda until combined and then set aside.
- In a large bowl, whisk the oil, brown sugar, and eggs until combined. Add in the vanilla extract and lemon zest and whisk again.
- Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and mix until just combined. Add in the shredded carrots and fold gently into the batter. Pour the batter into the tins, sprinkle with turbinado sugar, and bake for 40-50 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean when poked into the center of the cakes. Remove from the oven and let cool completely before enjoying a slice.
- If you want the icing, just mix together the lemon juice, powdered sugar, and vanilla extract into a pourable glaze. Pour over the tops of the cake and then enjoy!