You know, we can't go in expecting our top choice. We couples matched. I'll be happy if we get our third, fourth choice. Heck, even our seventh choice.
It's what I told Andrew at the beginning of last week, and what I kept telling myself as the week went on - I would be happy wherever we match, because I'll be thankful to have even matched in the first place, and extra lucky that I'll be taking this next step with a guy who means so much to me (both things of which are still true). But even with my seemingly optimistic-yet-realistic exterior, there was a little bit of a wistful sadness that we wouldn't be going to where we wanted to go the most. That feeling remained in my gut all week, then on Friday morning, then at 11:40 am when we got our envelopes and my hands were beginning to sweat. A mix of excitement but also nerves, the happiness of a match combating the stress of not knowing where for the next twenty minutes. Thank god I had friends nearby, to hug and congratulate, scattered among the atrium. I snapped some shots to get my mind off the temptation of just opening the envelope before noon and making a run for it - no, you need to wait. Don't ruin the moment.
All the sudden it became 11:59 and we were counting down from ten, everyone's hands on the lip of their envelope, ready to tear it open. Noon hits and I open it, unfold the letter, see exactly what that wistful thinking week had ultimately hoped for. Numb from excitement, I turned to my left, where Andrew is looking at his letter. My eyes scanned his face, trying to read what he was feeling. He turned and smiled back, faced his letter towards me, and in that moment I knew we were feeling the same thing - joy, excitement, the biggest relief. Our dream is coming true. And finally my emotions turned into happy tears, and I ugly-cried as I hugged him, the buzz of everyone's excitement in the background. Holy shit, it's happening.
We're moving to Chicago. To be doctors.
There's a feeling I hope I never forget.
Friday was all the feels - dramatic, exciting, tense, joyful. Match Day has come and gone, but I still get that tingly feeling from remembering the moment of opening our envelopes and seeing where we will be headed for the next few years. I'm so proud of all of my friends, and while it's bittersweet since it means we're heading different directions across the country, it also means we are finally living our dreams. Congratulations, all of you guys. I smile every time I think about it.
And on a not-medical-school note, it's officially spring! The beginning of rain showers, fresh dirt smells, with sunny warm days scattered in between. To celebrate, I baked a lemon poppyseed loaf - light, lemony, not too sickly sweet like some lemon poppyseed things can tend to be. The crust gets slightly crackly and sweet and is so different from the softness of the cake's innards, to the point where I didn't glaze it because I didn't want to ruin that wonderful contrast. We devoured the first loaf at trivia, and I'm sure we'll have no trouble tackling the second loaf this week.
Happy Monday, and happy spring! Wishing you all a peaceful week.
Lemon poppyseed loaf, adapted from NYT Cooking
- 1 3/4 cup all purpose flour
- 2 tsp cardamom
- 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
- 1/4 tsp baking soda
- 1/4 tsp salt
- Zest of 3 lemons
- 1 cup sugar
- 1/2 cup full fat Greek yogurt
- Juice of 2 lemons
- 3 eggs
- 1 1/2 tsp almond extract
- 2/3 cup canola oil, or any other neutral tasting oil
- 2 heaping tablespoons poppy seeds
- Preheat oven to 350 F. Butter and flour a 9x5 inch loaf pan and set aside.
- In a medium bowl, whisk the flour, cardamom, baking powder, baking soda, and salt until combined, then set aside.
- In a large bowl, rub the lemon zest with the sugar, using your fingers so that the sugar becomes moist and feels like wet sand. Add the Greek yogurt, lemon juice, and 3 eggs to the sugar-zest mixture and whisk until well combined. Add the flour mixture to this mixture and whisk until mostly smooth (if there are a few lumps, that's ok!) Add the almond extract and oil and whisk until combined.
- Pour the batter into the loaf pan and place in the oven for 60-65 minutes, or until a toothpick placed in the center comes out clean. Remove from the oven and let cool on a cooling rack for 10-15 minutes, then remove the loaf from the loaf pan and place it back on the cooling rack, letting it cool completely before cutting.
- Enjoy with all things spring - tea, flowers, sunshine, asparagus tarts, rhubarb things, yay!